Sappiness
by Hopeakaarme
Summary: Akutsu wakes up in the middle of the night, musing his life situation over a cigarette. Shounen ai AkuDan. Sons of a Samurai verse.


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Konomi Takeshi does. I'm merely playing with them for the moment.

A/N: This fic belongs in the _Sons of a Samurai_ verse, set before _Merry Birthday_.

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Sappiness

As soon as Akutsu woke up, he knew he should have still been asleep. He could tell this from the lack of light from outside the window even before he glanced at the glowing numbers of the bedside clock. He had no business being up at this hour, not without an actual reason.

There was no apparent cause for him to have woken up. There were no sounds that could have roused him, just the usual muffled life of the city at night outside. Half on instinct, he turned to look at his side. Soft, regulars breaths broke the semi-silence with the peacefulness of one asleep just as they should be.

Akutsu paused, looking at the form of his lover in the rather lacking light of the bedroom. There wasn't that much he could make out, just the general outlines of features, not that it mattered. He knew those features perfectly well, could have told them apart from thousands even in the dark, he had certainly studied them often enough with his eyes and fingers and lips over the years. There was the clear arc of dark brows, the thick lashes marking the closing of the definitely oversized eyes, the mouth that seemed locked in a manner of a perpetual smile. He knew the smile was there, even in sleep; the moments he couldn't find that familiar curl of lips were rare indeed, and the more so, the better. The times Taichi did not smile were rarely pleasant.

Taichi moved a bit, a soft sigh in the dark, an almost unnoticeable rustle as the sheets shifted upon his body. Akutsu watched the movement of the shadows, the long locks appearing black as ink as they spread over the pillow, sliding over each other ever so slightly with the movement of the head. They were so very different from when he had first met the boy, a long shot from that tousled mess of slightly overgrown hair the little boy had seemed incapable of keeping clear of tangles. Here he saw long, silky locks, the kind that clung to the sweat on his chest as Taichi arched over him, a flowing mass of blue-black that had largely contributed to the fact most people associated the name of Samurai with this little creature rather than the two others boasting a claim to it.

It seemed strange, thinking that others would see the shadow of a dead man in his lover, a man neither of them had truly known aside from a few choice meetings, but who had nevertheless done more to shape Taichi's path than the people who had presumably raised him for the first half of his life. He had no business doing that, did he now, no right to stake such claims of his own on a boy who he hadn't even known of until less than a year before his passing, but if whatever traits Taichi had inherited from him made the boy happy then so be it. Much though he hated to admit something so clearly sentimental, there were very few things Akutsu wouldn't have allowed if they were for the sake of Taichi's happiness.

There was no boy anymore, though, was there, he may not have been very tall but the one lying next to him was nevertheless a man, small in body perhaps but all the stronger in spirit. Akutsu leant closer, tracing his lips lightly over the brow in the dark, ending with a light peck on the smiling lips. He was rewarded with a sleepy murmur of nothing in particular, and the sleeping body shifting towards him. He allowed himself a brief smirk before tossing the sheets from his lap and turning to sit on the edge of the bed.

Stretching his arms up over his head, he stood up fluidly despite the still lingering sleep in his muscles, a small part of his mind remembering to hope the sudden movement didn't shake the other man awake. There was no indication of that, though, even as he shuffled through the darkened room in search of the pair of jeans he had discarded the night before. Taichi was always scolding him for tossing his clothes every which way, but he was yet to convince himself to truly change his ways; this instance might have been some incentive, but not nearly enough. After all, it didn't take him overly long to find his jeans, fallen into a haphazard pile on the floor.

Sleepily pulling on the jeans, he patted his pockets until he found the familiar shape of a pack of cigarettes. Taichi had done his best over the years, nagging and pleading and bargaining even, but he was yet to get Akutsu to drop this particular filthy habit, either. Granted, some advances had been made; he nowadays only enjoyed an occasional cigarette when the mood particularly struck him, a far cry from the chain smoking of his teenage years even if the craving did strike him at the most random moments, like now. Obviously, this didn't mean Taichi was happy yet, but most of the time he seemed resigned to the situation as long as Akutsu didn't smoke anywhere near him.

Locating his lighter in another pocket, Akutsu cast Taichi's sleeping form one last glance before silently padding his way out of the room. Their entire apartment was dark, as was only appropriate in the wee hours of the morning, but he didn't turn on the lights, navigating the darkness of one familiar enough with his surroundings not to stub his toes too many times. The few times he did not escape such punishment were marked by expletives murmured quietly under his breath.

Opening the door to the balcony, he unwillingly shivered at the cool night air. Bare feet stalking along the cold floor, he let the door slide to an unlocked close behind himself before starting to dig a cigarette out of the pack and sticking it between his lips. The light breeze that drove a tremble down his spine almost extinguished the flame of the lighter, only barely sheltered by his hand.

Leaning against the railing as he took his first draw of the finally lit cigarette, Akutsu forced himself to ignore the cool air caressing his half-naked body. The rumble of night-time traffic was clearer now that he was out, surrounded by the distant sounds and lights of yet another city that never truly slept. Neither of them had ever actually considered making their base anywhere but in a city. Certainly, there were drawbacks too, and they did both enjoy the occasional trip to the Echizen family home in the suburbs with its countless orange trees and lack of constant noise from the traffic, but the fact remained they were born and bred city-dwellers.

He had never foreseen this particular set of circumstances, though, not that he had ever been one to think much about the future. The most he could think of were some vague assumptions he would grow up to be much like his mother, alone for the lack of any significant relations or friends, though likely more inclined to the wrong side of the law for all of her valiant efforts at convincing him otherwise. Yet here he now found himself, with a lover and an extended family of in-laws that was perhaps small but all the more annoying, a cause to travel around the world over and over again if only as company to the one with the actual reason, and a familiar smile greeting him on the other side of the breakfast table every single morning. Not that he was complaining, no, just wondering just what he'd done right in his life to end up here.

Even this was changing, though, this nomadic lifestyle of Taichi and his kin. Ryoga had been the first, making a dramatic announcement out of it just to be annoying, as though they hadn't been able to guess it for his injury. Akutsu had admitted to feeling some mild surprise at Atobe following not too soon after; he'd always thought the man would be the last to retire if only out of spite. Taichi would be next. He hadn't even told anybody but Akutsu yet, but Akutsu knew he was serious about it. Taichi did love tennis, he did love the game and all the opponents and the matches, but he was not as happy with the constant strain and the inability to settle down. And he did want to settle down, settle openly down with Akutsu, find a proper home instead of this temporary stop between the tournaments, do something else with his life besides tennis. Not that tennis wouldn't have been enough, but they both knew he couldn't keep it up forever. Even now, Akutsu sometimes found himself wondering if Taichi's body would be willing to bear the strain until he made the final decision to retire.

It was a strange world, the pro circuit, a strange world with priorities quite different from those of the rest of reality, a world where taking a break meant giving up and injuries were more the rule than the exception. Much though he enjoyed watching Taichi's pleasure at some aspects of it, Akutsu just couldn't wait to see them both free of that particular circle. He was frankly tired of seeing Taichi spreading himself thin enough to almost break before the important tournaments, head so full of his precious data he hardly had time to even think about anything else, his happiness waning and waxing at the turn of each match. It made him feel helpless, sometimes, knowing there was nothing he could do to take away those lines from his lower's face, knowing that any time Taichi picked up a racquet might mark the moment he became one of those forced to retire through injury rather than choice, and if there was something Akutsu hated it was feeling helpless. Especially when it came to Taichi.

It wouldn't be long anymore, he kept telling himself. Not long until Taichi would be all his, until they would start looking for somewhere permanent to live, until their lives were no more commanded by the tournaments and training schedules and the next flight out somewhere. Maybe then they could get that dog Taichi wanted, he mused, when they would actually stay home as a default. Maybe. There were a lot of maybes there, a lot of possibilities all open for exploration… but not yet. Just, not long anymore.

The cigarette had come to an end, he noted, snuffing it out properly. That, and he was really starting to feel the cold out here, shirtless as he was. Grumbling quietly under his breath, he made his way back inside.

The dark apartment was even harder to navigate through now that his night vision had been spoiled by the lights outside, but he did manage to make it back to the bedroom without any major mishaps. Shedding his jeans again on the way, he carefully sat down on the bed, leaning over to place a kiss on Taichi's lips. Instead of the sleepy smile and lack of proper response, however, he felt Taichi turning away ever so slightly.

"You were smoking," murmured Taichi, only half awake judging by his sleepy tones.

Akutsu shrugged. "I went outside," he pointed out. Of course, they both knew Taichi would have preferred for him not to smoke at all, but Akutsu still claimed that as long as he didn't do so inside, he was acting within the set limits of acceptance.

"Mm…" Taichi rolled to the side, scrunching up his face in a manner that might have been called adorable if the one judging it had been anyone but Akutsu, who would not use the word 'adorable' for anything. "Don't kiss me afterwards."

Akutsu chuckled quietly. He wouldn't apologize out loud, and Taichi knew as much; however, he did make his own manner of an apology by drawing Taichi close as he got under the covers. His lover shivered at first at the touch of cold hands but then allowed himself to be held, his body small but firm against Akutsu's larger form.

"You know, Taichi," he murmured, lips brushing against Taichi's ear, "I… I'm glad I am with you." It was one of the sappiest things he could recall saying, and even then he only allowed it out of his mouth because he suspected Taichi wouldn't remember it in the morning anyway.

"I know." There was a sleepy chuckle against his chest. "I love you…"

"…Yeah. I know." The silent, 'I love you too,' went clear though unspoken between them.

Akutsu knew he should have still been asleep, a fact soon remedied as he found himself falling into a faint slumber, Taichi's body warm against his own.

Eyes long since fallen shut, he almost imagined he could hear the barking of a puppy in the echoing rooms of a new home yet to be furnished, except he could never be that sappy even in his dreams now could he.


End file.
